Artist Greatness

 

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Super inspirational and cute. www.notsalmon.com

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Sarcastic, off the cuff and just plain strange. But that’s why I love it. www.sebastienmillon.com

spalshart492012

Super cool and creative. There are many different styles on his page. www.kacper-kiec.tumblr.com

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My personal super hero. She really is just like me. LOL www.nataliedee.com

 

I know there is more…just can’t think of them right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The perfect failure

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My search for the perfect job is off to a bad start. First of all I’m not actively looking, more so just thinking about it. Secondly I have no idea what the perfect job for me is. And so there lies the ever troublesome fear that I always succumb to. FEAR stands in my way most every day. And if I had to rate it’s success I would give it an A. See, I’ve come to realize that I could be categorized as a perfectionist. But, like my quest for that perfect job, I’m the type of perfectionist that only talks about the perfect things they want. But never actually tries to obtain them for FEAR of imperfection. Are you following me?

Let’s dig deeper, really tear me apart.

I want to be a free spirit. One might call it a hippie (I do.) I envy those who go with the flow and embrace natures way. They don’t worry about details or outcomes. They live in the moment and fully enjoy the present. At least that is my interpretation. This type of free thinking does not mix well with my need for perfection. How could I let me hair down and enjoy the moment if I’m worried about what is going to happen after the moment? Will it meet my expectations? Will it be perceived by others as a failure?

FAILURE: Now that is the root of my perfectionism. FEAR of FAILURE! I know I am going to fail (by my own standards because I don’t give myself any chance of not failing), the fear is so great, I don’t even try. I lose out on so many life experiences because my FEAR paralyzes me into thinking I cannot do it.

Fortunately I am a functioning FEAR of FAILURE sufferer. What I mean by that is that I realize some individuals suffer far greater than I. I have a full time job, a husband, 3 lovely dogs and a handful of people I can call friends. My appreciation for those things should be more than it is. My negative self image diminishes the idea that I am worthy of any of it. A perfect person deserves to have those things and I am far from perfect.

Let me try to explain how I feel in words.

When someone gives me a compliment, let’s say they told me I am doing a great job at work, I completely freeze up. My face flushes and I get hot and uncomfortable. If I’m already having an emotional day sometimes my eyes well up. And you might think, good, you feel proud. But no, I feel ashamed. I feel unworthy. I feel like I somehow pulled the wool over their eyes and fooled them into thinking I deserved such a compliment. My inner self does not let me forget that I am not good enough. That I am less than everyone else.

My rational side tries hard to fight this ugly monster. Tries it’s hardest to point out the facts and bring me to the other, positive side. But majority of the time that battle is lost. And I might be able to hold myself together for appearances but you better believe that on the inside there are casualties as far as the imagination can reach. Even as I write this post I know how ridiculous it sounds.

I’ve discovered over the years, through many different counselors, that this is only just a bad habit. With practice and self awareness I can retrain my thought process to take a different route. And I do believe that to be true. Because I have made great strides in acknowledging my bad habits and redirecting some of them. But this battle has proven to be harder than I can handle. My struggles are evident to the ones closest to me. They suffer the greatest from my inability to move forward and for that I am very sorry. But I am still optimistic that I will keep improving. That the FEAR of FAILURE perfectionist inside me will lose power and the free spirit that has been trapped inside since childhood will find her voice.

She has to. I need her now more than ever.

Opening new dialog

I have recently been expressing more of my views and concerns on my Facebook page. In the past I didn’t want to push my ideals on anyone else. But through this site, where I don’t really have to worry about because you are all strangers to me, I have learned how to voice my thoughts better. It’s a bit empowering. Although I don’t always get a response. But at least people know what I care about and the life experiences I have faced. No need to go into detail here, that is for another post. But I will say my passion about food has recently shifted. I’m trying to eat as fresh and unprocessed as possible. And when I think about all the crap people eat it makes me worry a great deal about the future.

Anyway, back to the point of this post. I’m excited to share with my friends and family the things that make my brain turn. Maybe someday I will link my blog to Facebook. But not any time soon, that just sounds scary. LOL

Good chat. Talk to you later.

Thank goodness it’s today!

This theory goes along with the power of now. Really living in the moment and making the most of it. Yesterday has already past and tomorrow is the future. The only “day” that you’ll ever be in is today. The now. The reality we are in at this very moment. Living in the past or worrying about the future only restrict our ability to be present in our everyday lives. I try to follow these ideals to keep myself focused on the important things in life. It’s not easy but a good goal to have.

There is a book called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff at Work” by Richard Carlson. This chapter totally made me think of my sister. It’s like they plucked it from her mind.
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Join my new club, “TGIT”

Until now, the business world was primarily made of two clubs. The most popular club, by far, was the “TGIF” club, or “Thank God It’s Friday.” To be a member of this club, your primary focus is on the weekend. Members think about, anticipate, and look forward to Fridays so that they can get away from their work. Most members are highly stressed because only two days of the week are considered “good days.” Even Sunday is considered a stressful day because the next day they have to go back to work.

The other business club is substantially smaller, yet in some ways the members are more dedicated to the club. This one is called “TGIM,” or “Thank God It’s Monday.” These members are usually workaholics who can’t stand weekends because they are away from work! Members of this club are also highly stressed because while there are generally five days of the week to be preoccupied with work, there is always that darn weekend that gets in the way! The most difficult day of the week is usually Friday, because it often means the member won’t be able to get back to work for a few days. They may try to work on weekends, but the demands of family get in the way. Needless to say, members of both clubs think that members of the “other club” are completely nuts!

I invite you to join an alternate club. My hope is that together, we can eventually achieve a 100 percent membership. In fact, I’d love to put the other two clubs out of business altogether! This new club is called “TGIT,” or “Thank God It’s Today.” Members of this club are happy seven days a week because they understand that every day is unique, and each brings with it different gifts. Members of this club are grateful to be alive; they rejoice in their many blessings and expect each day to be full of wonder, surprise, and opportunity.

There are no qualifications necessary to join the “TGIT” club, other than the desire to have a higher quality of life and the desire to appreciate rather than dread each day. Members of this club understand that it’s useless to wish any day were different. They know that Mondays don’t care if you like them or not— they simply go on being Mondays. Likewise, Fridays will come around every seventh day, whether you wish it were Friday or not. It’s up to each of us to make every day as special as it can be. No amount of wishing will make the slightest bit of difference.

As simple as it seems, the desire to maintain a membership in this club can make a substantial difference in the attitude you carry with you at work, and in fact in all of life. Just think: If you wake up every day of the week with an attitude of, “I’m glad today is today. I’m going to make this day as positive and wonderful as I possibly can,” you may be surprised at how much less stressed you’ll be. This simple shift of attitude goes a long, long way toward a more positive experience of life and work.
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I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I’m trying to join the club but boy is it hard. I agree that previously Friday’s seemed like the best day but this approach seems way more healthy and productive.

The original book “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson is my favorite book.