Reminder of Awesomeness

  1. I am overall a very nice, sensitive person
  2. I mostly put others before myself
  3. I love animals and the earth
  4. I’m very empathetic
  5. I eat healthy
  6. I workout regularly
  7. I can make people laugh
  8. I am fun
  9. I am generally not judgmental
  10. I am smart
  11. I am creative and artistic
  12. I enjoy nature
  13. I am good at sharing my emotions
  14. I am good at reading others emotions
  15. I am a good listener
  16. I am loyal
  17. I am compassionate…

I needed that. 🙂


Some days I chew a whole pack of gum

Some days I can’t stop chewing gum. I need it to sooth my nerves, keep me awake, provide sugar, stave off hunger, or prevent teeth clenching or grinding. I chew it like the world depends on it. And I blow bubbles and make loud popping sounds.


My nerves, anxiousness and irritability are all on the top of the list. Some days I can’t shake the feeling that something terrible has happened, is happening or is going to happen in the very near future. And of course I’m usually the cause of that terrible thing which only adds to my anxiety.


Gum’s ability to keep me awake is a close second. On those days when staring at the computer feels like I’m being hypnotized. My eyes are heavy and I’m afraid my head is going to fall and smack the desk. Or else someone is going to walk in my office and see my head hanging and drool coming out of my mouth.


I try not to consume unnecessary sugars. I’ve cut out most desserts and other processed sweets. But I still have a craving for something sugary from time to time. Gum is sweet and juicy so it totally does the trick. At least for the 10 minutes before it loses its flavor.


When I get the urge to snack gum can stop me from eating something stupid. In the afternoon there can sometimes be a lull and a snack of any kind sounds like a great idea. If I pop a piece of gum in my mouth and chew, chew, chew I soon forget that I wanted to stuff my face.


Teeth clenching or grinding sometimes happens without my knowledge. But if I do catch myself with the urge, gum is a welcome distraction. Although the pace in which I chew often still makes my teeth and jaw sore.


Overall chewing gum is harmless. It helps me through the day with minimal effect. Except, that is, for those around me. Sorry bout that.

Opening new dialog

I have recently been expressing more of my views and concerns on my Facebook page. In the past I didn’t want to push my ideals on anyone else. But through this site, where I don’t really have to worry about because you are all strangers to me, I have learned how to voice my thoughts better. It’s a bit empowering. Although I don’t always get a response. But at least people know what I care about and the life experiences I have faced. No need to go into detail here, that is for another post. But I will say my passion about food has recently shifted. I’m trying to eat as fresh and unprocessed as possible. And when I think about all the crap people eat it makes me worry a great deal about the future.

Anyway, back to the point of this post. I’m excited to share with my friends and family the things that make my brain turn. Maybe someday I will link my blog to Facebook. But not any time soon, that just sounds scary. LOL

Good chat. Talk to you later.

Sleep is so finicky


We’ve all dealt with those days when we just feel so tired. And for no particular reason. You went to bed at the same time. You pretty much eat the same foods regularly. So what causes our bodies to be completely exhausted? Here are a few of my experiences.

  • Dogs. The first obvious sleep disruptor are my dogs. From taking up to much bed space to hogging my pillow my dogs sometimes rule my nights. And now that one of my mutts is 15 years young and often has restless nights my sleep deprivation has increased. It’s almost like having an infant. Except for the fact that I leave my dog home alone all day while I’m at work. Other than that, totally the same.
  • Mind. Okay, let’s get serious. Our minds have a way of never taking a break. It’s like that over ambitious friend you have that is always working, studying and working out. It is hard for us to shut off our minds so that we can get some much needed rest. I’ve experienced full blown anxiety attacks in my sleep. When I wake up I feel like I was facing my worst fears all night and could easily sleep for another 10 hours. You need to recuperate after an emotional ordeal like facing your fears.
  • Food. There are many opinions and eating before bed. Some say it is okay depending on what you eat. Other studies suggest not eating after 7pm (or a few hours before bed time.) I have a tendency to snack while watching TV. Who doesn’t? So I often have a late night snack while watching some guilty pleasures. As soon as the show is over, off to bed I go. I’m pretty sure that last spoonful of almond butter probably wasn’t a good idea at 10pm.
  • Sore muscles. Last night I just couldn’t get comfortable. My arms were already aching from that evenings workout. I tossed and turned and even had limbs go to sleep occasionally (but not in the way I needed them to go to sleep.) There are times when I get a tension headache while sleeping. I wake up with a sore neck and pounding headache. That is always a terrible morning. On those nights I think about people who are bed ridden and the terrible pain they must go through all of the time. Not something I would wish on anyone.
  • Sick. Now this is an obvious one. It’s often hard to sleep when you are not feeling well. Unless of course you are loaded up on over the counter meds and are knocked out. The other night I wasn’t so much sick as suffering from a mild case of sun poisoning. I was not sunburnt but I had spent the better half of the day in the sun. I felt super cold after showering so I bundled up in long sleeve pajamas and a big blanket. Well, the heat from the sun was trying to escape my body so I ended up drenched in sweat. That was a rough night because I kept switching back and forth from cold to hot.

I’m usually a great sleeper. I think that is why I am so affected by sleep deprivation. I can’t go more than one night without adequate sleep. So, in an attempt to minimize these sleep disruptors I have come up with the following solutions.

  • Dogs. Make them sleep on the floor. There, that was easy. Just kidding. I could never do that. I enjoy the snuggles too much. So for this one I am just going to have to sleep through it. 🙂
  • Mind. Keep a journal handy and right before bed write down everything that is swirling around in your head. It can be words, a picture or even a doodle. What ever it takes to pluck those thoughts out of the cycle and stick them into time out. You’ll come back to them tomorrow. Don’t worry, they’ll still be there. With today’s tech world maybe you could even send yourself an email with your smart phone. Or start a blog of late night thoughts…
  • Food. Be present in the evenings. Don’t mindlessly stuff food in your face while staring at the TV for hours. Remember, you are preparing for the next day and all the obstacles you are going to tackle. You need to make sure you are in top condition. Try brushing your teeth when you are done with dinner. This might deter you from grabbing that last minute snack. Or, pick a different activity to do right before bed other than watching TV. Maybe read a book or sit outside with the dogs.
  • Sore muscles. Drink plenty of water throughout the day and after a workout. Always stretch your muscles whenever they feel tight. Ease into it and make sure you don’t over do it. If you are really sore stretching every couple hours and keep your muscles lose and prevent them from cramping up. Other than that there is not much you can do about being sore. Just enjoy the results of an intense workout and know that it’s all worth it in the end.
  • Sick. Again drink plenty of fluids. Don’t over do the medication. And allow yourself ample time to rest. Turn off the TV and the lights and any other distraction and allow your body heal. It can be hard to unplug and a lot of people feel like lounging around watching TV is enough. But to really give your body the energy to focus on getting better you need to eliminate all other activities.

I have practiced these solutions before and find them to be very effective. But it’s like working out, getting to the gym is the biggest challenge. At the end of a long day sometimes anything other than vegetable mode seems like a daunting task. But do yourself a favor and follow through on those good intentions you have. The you of tomorrow will be so thankful.


How life keeps me from learning how to cook

So many people comment that cooking is so easy after asking weather I cook at home. Of course I say no. I mean, I can hardly cook instant rice. Although I may have finally gotten the hang of it. Anyway, I’m left wondering what is blocking my path to culinary achievement. I can think of a few things and decided to share them with you.

  1. First and foremost is skill. My grandmother cooked the simplest of dishes. There were no big grand meals that I can remember. So she didn’t have much to pass down to my mother. Therefor my cooking skills are slim to non. Now, I know I could apply myself and learn to cook. And that leads into the next reason.
  2. Desire. Do I want to learn to cook? Do I want to cook? Not really. I don’t get much enjoyment out of working in the kitchen, making a mess and then having to clean all while my husband sits on his butt watching TV and playing on his laptop. I suppose if we did it together it may be more enjoyable.
  3. Nutrition. I can be a whore for labels. If I cook my own meal there is no nutrition label for me to look at. How will I know how much protein I consumed or if the meal contained too much sugar? The fear of no labels is too strong.
  4. Confidence. I lack self esteem in almost all aspects of life. So after I pour my heart into a dish I immediately put myself down saying I know how horrible it is. I can’t even fathom that it might be edible much less tasty. Most of the time I don’t even get that far. I convince myself not to even try because I know how bad it will be.
  5. Panic. I panic when I feel things are out of control. I lose touch with reality and completely breakdown. Cooking can get stressful if you have too many things going on at once. I sometimes end up not even hungry after an event like that.

I’d like to get better at cooking. At least I think so. But not really I guess. The only reason I feel the need to know how to cook is because people tell me it’s not that hard. Like I’m so how defective because I think it is. Some people are good at things others are not. It’s not that hard to believe. I can’t let those kinds of comments go. I hold onto them and beat myself up repeatedly by them. And when I think they’re gone someone will mention cooking and out they’ll come again only this time holding a baseball bat.




I ate too much sugar today and now I feel guilty. Granted it was natural sugar from fruit but still. I clearly had too much. Maybe I’ll crash and sleep good.

I hate feeling guilty about food. It’s the worst. Feeling guilty sucks in general but when it involves food it’s even worse. Cause there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to accept it and move on.

That is easier said than done. Moving on. I don’t always know how to accomplish that. I have a tendency to over think everything. So here I’m in the middle of a post feeling like all the work I’ve put in is ruined.

But let’s not allow ourselves to overreact. Let’s focus on reality and remember tomorrow is another day. I’m working hard and making sacrifices to meet my goal. An occasional slip up is expected and can be forgiven.

Work hard tomorrow and stay strong. You can do it.