We’re driving in the car. Well, he’s driving and I’m the passenger. He shifts early into fifth gear and we’re only going 40 miles per hour, in town…where there are plenty of lights. Anyway, I comment on his terrible shifting habits. He explains why he does it (for the millionth time) like that is going to convince me he knows what he’s doing. I resist the urge for about 5 seconds. Then I burst into complete and udder ridicule. “That is not going to work in my car. Can’t you hear the engine dragging? You’re the worst shifter ever!” Blah blah blah…the same old nag that I can’t seem to resist. He continues to try and explain his actions and I continue to cut him down. (Let me be perfectly clear, I’ve been driving a manual much longer then him, I know what I’m doing.) The next thing that happened came with such a surprise my actions after were a little delayed because I had to wrap my head around the situation I was just put into.
He SLAMS! I mean slams on the brakes. The car skidded to the right, next to the curb and you could smell the burning rubber. I think I pulled a home alone face or my hands were on my chest. Either way I was frozen like that for a least a minute. He proceeded to turn right on the next side street, park the car by the curb and get out (keys in his hand.) He mutter something along the lines of “When you want ME to give you a ride home come let me know. I’ll be outside.”
At first (after the initial shock) I found it kind of comical. He was throwing a hissy fit. So I grabbed my phone and starting scrolling thru Facebook. I can entertain myself for a few minutes while he cools off. Did I mention it was the middle of the night and I had been drinking? Oh sorry. Well that is why HE was driving me home. Because I could not drive myself. Anyway, I got a little sleepy so I reclined my seat and closed my eyes. It’s beautiful outside this time of year so I thought I would just relax and soak it in.
Maybe 10 minutes later I’d had enough. I decided to walk home. We weren’t too far from the house. I could walk there in about 15 minutes. I grabbed a sweater out of the back seat and started walking. He yelled something at me “Does that mean you don’t want me to give you a ride?” I just kept walking like I didn’t hear him.
Walk walk walk…man it was really dark out. We don’t live in the city so our neighborhood doesn’t have a lot a street lamps.
Walk walk walk…this is sure spooky, hope something scary doesn’t happen. Then I see my car speed pass me and turn on the next side street.
Walk walk walk…should I go get in? Nah, he’s acting like a maniac.
Walk walk walk…(my car pulls up next to me, stops in the road) “Hey, are you sure you don’t want a ride?” (or something like that) Then another car comes speeding up behind him, doesn’t appear to see that he is stopped, changes lanes last minute. It becomes clear that he is going to do this the entire way home. He obviously can’t let me walk home in the middle of the night. It’s not safe. So I say “Well, if you’re going to make this unsafe I better just get in.” And we drive home in silence.
He goes directly into the bedroom and I decide to sleep on the couch.
I understand that my nagging was rude but we’re married, nagging happens. Under no circumstances do I agree that someone should act so crazy just because someone else is saying something they don’t want to hear. It was dangerous and grossly over played. His actions have made it impossible for me to apologize because then he’ll think what he did was acceptable. And it was not. At all. Totally unacceptable!
Here is my question: When someone else is clearly doing something wrong how do you keep your mouth shut? I mean, you know it is wrong and there is no way to avoid the situation. You have to face it on a consistent basis. Just as much as it annoys them when you say something it annoys you when the do it. What are you supposed to do?
And to further defend my actions he constantly tells me he’s “allowed to have his own opinion” and that I cannot stop him. So…I was just sharing my opinion buddy. Sorry you didn’t like it but you can’t stop me from having one. The hypocrisy of it all was quite non-coincidental.
So, can you tell me how am I, in this situation, not supposed to voice my opinion?
(The issue is much deeper obviously but I can’t go into all 17 years of our background.)