If I died would they notice?

Costa Mesa sd 081212

I think I may have used that phrase on a previous blog. It’s a common thread that makes it’s rounds in my head. But really, I wonder how much it would matter. Of course there would be initial sadness. But who would really notice? My husband first and foremost. Of course he would be affected the greatest. And my puppies, they would miss more terribly than anyone. Beyond that…? Beyond the closest of relationships I begin my skepticism. My employer would have to replace me and that is inconvenient. My seester would miss me but she lives in another state so it’s not like we see each other often. My mother would be devastated but that is more about her own issues than me actually being dead.

I guess the answer is yes. But that stupid voice in my head makes me question things like this constantly.

I realize this is not a positive post so I need to put a spin on it. Let’s turn that negative into a positive.

……………………………………..

People would miss my light hearted openness. They would miss talking to me. They would miss my personal sense of style. My pink hair. Maybe even my hazel eyes (or the birth mark in the left one.) They most likely miss my ability to be empathetic about anything. My laugh or snort (which happens occasionally.) But hopefully most of all the would just miss my company. Because more than anything in the world I just need to be welcomed, needed, desired…

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