I know that I just said “all the support I need is myself.” Well, the voices in my head are so NEGATIVE it’s becoming increasingly difficult to believe in myself. Instead of facing the fact that I might fail I’d feel better just giving up. Then I didn’t fail trying my absolute hardest. That way there is an excuse. A reason “why” I didn’t accomplish my goal. I don’t know why I cannot instead try my hardest and achieve my goals. And if I don’t, at least be proud of my efforts. I can’t think of many times that has actually happened. Obviously it has but recognizing those situations is not my strong point. I’ve always suffered from low self-esteem or self-worth. I’m constantly telling myself how terrible I am and how much better I should be. Comparing myself to others. None of that will help me reach my goals. Sure, I do good for awhile but the negative monster in my head always returns.
If I could spend half the energy I waste on negative thinking on positivity I could do anything. I know it’s possible. That’s whats frustrating. Something inside me for whatever reason will not let me move forward. I’m holding myself back. Logically I can’t understand why I would want to sabotage my own happiness and success. Fear I guess. Fear of failing. It’s truly exhausting. To be free of negative self talk and actually live life as your biggest cheer leader must be amazing. I’m afraid I will never know.
My main love language has always been words of affirmation. I’m constantly looking for approval or praise to make myself feel worthy. My dependance on others opinions of me or what I’m doing is ridiculous. However I understand it’s not all bad, it’s my personalty. But I need to be able to give myself the words of affirmation I seek. I’m understanding that now more than ever. I can change the way I feel by the way I think about myself. I have the power within me. Here are a few non-committed goals. You know, just ones a hope I can achieve. I wouldn’t want to set myself up for failure.
- Stop negative thinking: A negative thought can be stopped before it takes root in your mind. You just have to be conscious of what you’re thinking. You can’t be lazy or distracted to achieve this goal. You must stay diligent to get the results you want
- Stop thinking: Ok, I know that sounds but let me explain. So much time is wasted thinking about what you want/need to do. Take action and stop thinking about it. “Doing” gets a lot more done than planing and worrying. All that does is keep you stuck in the past or the future instead of the present moment.
- Set realistic goals: “I want to lose 4% body fat.” That’s my goal. It seems so unachievable. But if you break it down into smaller goals that lead up to that one goal. Like, eat a healthy lunch every day this week. Well, that is much easier to comprehend and get on board with.
- Don’t be a hater: Self-esteem is the hardest concept for me to grasp. I feel uncomfortable being proud of myself. It makes me squirm when people give me compliments. So, to keep it more simple just stop putting yourself down. You don’t have to pat yourself on the back but you can certainly stop kicking yourself when you’re down. Improved self-esteem will happen naturally once the “hater” inside of you is silenced.
- Stop comparing: This too can be a hard one. With all the media emphasis on being healthy, looking a certain way or having a certain level of success it can sometimes be hard to accept who we are. Remember that there is only one you so comparing yourself to someone else really isn’t fair. There are not two people exactly the same, with the same background or life experiences. So of course you are going to be different than everyone else. Celebrate your individuality.
If I can achieve these 5 goals (which by the way all take place on the battle field in my head) than I know I CAN DO ANYTHING.
(I have to admit that I came into writing this post with the most negative intentions. As you may be able to tell by the first paragraph. But I have to say that talking it out in my head and acknowledging what can be done has really brightened my day.)